Reorganize, revisit, rebuild

Do you ever feel like you’re revisiting a previous version of yourself? I’m going through a bit of an idealist Dan revival at the moment.

I’ve slept just over three hours the past three nights and have found myself awash in thought. And since I didn’t have my computer working again until late last night, I’ve been scribbling in blank books, something I haven’t done regularly since college. I’ve sketched, felt ink on my fingertips and smudged by own lines. It feels like I’m coming down from an incredible high.

I’m inspired and seek simplicity. I’m finding that all of a sudden I’m attracted again to the raw emotion that came from the music of my younger years, that I’m attracted to the ideas and ideals that I once held so close to my breast before I entered the workforce.

Perhaps this new feeling has come from the liberation I’ve achieved in my new job, where they encourage the expression of every creative synapse in my brain. Perhaps it comes from my revisiting of Wittgenstein’s wonderful works, or perhaps it’s just the drive and passion that I let go dormant from seeing the worst of the people around me. As much as I enjoyed being a police reporter, it changed me. It changed how I looked at the world, how I see people.

I played my electric guitar for three hours last night. It’s like rage was oozing through my fingertips, finally letting go. I’ve been listening to all of my old emo-core, hardcore and post punk from the early and mid 90s: Mineral, Fireside, Quicksand, Whirlpool, Sense Field, Sunny Day Real Estate, Boy Sets Fire, Braid, Bluebird, Jawbox, Jawbreaker, Avail, Hot Water Music…. And it’s relit a fire in my belly.

Now, how do you hold onto something within yourself that you thought was long dead and gone? Better still, how do you integrate it into a man 12 years removed from that initial spark?

"Just this human heart, filled with this human flaw"

On the iPod "Red Elephant" - Sunny Day Real Estate

It's strange how life starts to shift on you. I've finally started to get some fulfillment on the work front and everything else starts slipping. I'm tired. I know that I always say that I'm tired, but in all honesty, I'm really, really tired. I can't sleep and just can't seem to find a routine that works that will get me out to Warren from Westland in one piece. I feel sleepy on the drive to work. I love my job, but I miss being in the city. I like the bustle. I like seeing the black men with storied wrinkles, their weathered shopping baskets and smelling the market.

The finance is back in Kirksville for another month and it's just me and the dog. I went to bed cold, only to not be able to stand the cold. The dog and I slept together the rest of the night.

I'm adjusting to a lot of things. I'm not sure if I'm doing it right, but so far, it has been very, very interesting. Now, if only I could fill this human heart with a little less of the human flaws.

You were new on the scene

On the iPod "Middle School Frown" - Josh Rouse

So, as you’ve no doubt gathered from the previous post, I’m now working in advertising. It’s been surreal so far. Everything is different than what I’m used to, but I see oodles of opportunity here. Admittedly, my creativity was stifled in journalism on more than one occasion.

And while I see plenty of avenues that might do the same thing in this new field, there is no shortage of encouragement to think outside the box, to dream big and to crack my knuckles and do some good hard work. So far, it has been satisfying.

I’m not doing any programming of the sites I’m working on, but I do have some say in the types of content that are being developed. I’ll share some of the work as it is produced.

So far, the people have been fun and I’m really looking forward to getting into full swing on some of the projects I’m working on.

On a personal level, things are going well. The finance is home and is just a few days away from taking her initial board exams. I’m very proud of her. I’ll also be happy when she has them behind her and we can go back to some sort of brief sense of normalcy before she begins her rotations in the fall.

We’ll be taking a little break and heading down to Indianapolis to the Brickyard for a Formula 1 race next Thursday. I’m looking forward to getting out of the state and getting some camping in.

I also have a lot of philosophical thought to espouse and a few critiques to deliver. Give me a little time, I’m getting settled.

Thanks for hanging in there with me. I’m feeling much happier and healthier since I made this move. I’ll be back to full strength soon.

Namaste.

Once upon a time...

On the iPod "The Storm" - The Doves

Once upon a time, there was a young man named Daniel. Daniel was a young, hopeful journalist with aspirations of one day reporting and editing for The New York Times. Daniel began his professional journalism career in Grand Rapids, MI. He wrote about lots of things, from murders, to fires to human-interest pieces. Daniel was happy in Grand Rapids. Not too long after he began his career, Daniel took a job in Monroe, MI at the Monroe Evening News.

He became a beat reporter, covering police, courts and fire. After two-years, Daniel became tired and slightly burned out.

The tired journalist then tried his hand in Detroit at Crain’s Detroit Business. It was here he grew into a programmer and code slinger, running the publication’s Web site.

Still, Daniel wondered when he would finally feel like his work would mean something to the world. He began looking outside the narrow world of newspapers and magazines.

In May of 2007, our young fulfillment seeker took a new position as a digital editor with Campbell-Ewald, the nation’s sixth largest advertising agency. Daniel believes this new opportunity will allow him more time to write, more time to be creative and hopefully help him find the fulfillment he has been yearning for.

This is Daniel’s story. This is Daniel’s newest beginning in a history of new beginnings.