7 more days

On the iPod "Umm..." - Onelinedrawing

When significant events get close, sometimes I think it makes the waiting that much harder.

March is oddly enough shaping up to be a really important month for me. My best friend is getting married, my wife to be is coming home so our parents can meet for the first time and I have a few other things that are totally up in the air. I can't remember a time when I believe I've been more in flux in my life.

It's strange to think about marriage. It's a scary thing. It's like diving off the edge of a building. There really isn't any turning back from a dive like that. It immediately changes everything - just like our swan dive. Bones are going to break, there is going to be pain, but it might just put everything else into an entirely different light.

The thing about marriage is that it effects everything, your interaction with your immediate family, your responsibilities, your financial situation, how you see yourself and how you see yourself among others. It's not just about you anymore, it's about your family unit. It's been an interesting thing to see how my mind has totally warped since being engaged. The first thing I think of in the morning right now is what shape her hair would be making on the pillow next to me if she were there, then it goes directly to the plan. How are we going to pay for this? How are our families going to handle that? What would she think about this kind of bread? How pissed is she going to be that I'm eating this sodium laden pickle?

Nothing is really about me... and I don't think it will ever be that way again. It has suddenly become us, the family. And for the first time, I believe I have real love. You can't design it, put it on paper or code it in any way. It just exists, exclusive of any real definition. It exists.

7 more days.